Life's Certainties: Death & (TV) Taxes

Erica and I have been married for a little over two years, and during that time we have not owned a (working) TV. Many people advised us before we got married to not have a TV for our first year of marriage thus forcing us to interact more with each other. We followed this advice and were so pleased with the outcome that after year one we were in no big rush to go out and get a TV. As we considered moving to the UK though we both considered the possiblity that we would get one once we got over here. Erica for BBC's period pieces, I for some football, and both of us for some quality Britcoms. (Remember, they created the office.)

Here's what we discovered upon arriving in the UK. The British government imposes a TV licencing tax//fee of £145.50/$216ish (only £48/$78ish if your TV is black and white) per year on each household that uses a TV to watch content as it is shown live. (Taxes for basic items? Didn't something happen in Boston Harbor because of that idea?) The proceeds from this fee go to funding three channels, BBC 1, 2, and 3. While the BBC is very much akin to PBS in the states, with the amount of funding they receive it is able to run three different channels and create such critically acclaimed period pieces as Pride and Prejudice.

Watching DVDs only is permitted as is watching a TV show on your computer after it has been initially shown, but watching live TV on your computer is not. If you are found to be watching TV illegally you can be brought to court and fined up to £1000.

Got that?

My first question was, how do they figure out if you are acting illegally in this regard? The answer...

TV Police

The UK government has a national registry of addresses that have paid the licencing fee allowing them to keep track. But it goes further. They have officers who can detect if you have a TV!

From the official TV licencing website:
Enforcement officers may use a hand-held detection device to measure both the direction and the strength of a TV signal. This makes it easy for us to locate TV receiving equipment in even the hardest-to-reach places. (i.e. hiding it in your attic) We also have a fleet of detector vans that can detect the use of TV receiving equipment at specifically targeted addresses within 20 seconds.

How exactly does all this fancy equipment work? Nobody really knows. Many have conjured, quite accurately I am now thinking, that these claims are a hoax to scare people into buying the licence.
http://www.bbctvlicence.com/Detector%20vans.htm

The detector van watch website and others are all part of an amusing anti-BBC campaign online.

All of this craziness makes not having a TV something to enjoy once again.

Marmalade Breakfast and Wedding Banns

A few Saturdays Zac and I went to a marmalade breakfast in the neighboring village of Otham (probably the most rustically picturesque village in our area of Kent). This "breakfast" (tea and toast, to be precise) was held at the parish church, and was essentially a sale of preserves- jams, marmalades and curds. We sampled the lemon curd and the marmalade on our toast, which was fantastic. I had been intending to buy some lemon curd there, but our money was otherwise engaged. That is to say, there was also a table selling one of the former church member's household items, and Zac and I got quite excited over the "20p" table. Zac's wonderful finds: old leather wallet, metal booklet for holding stamps, and an old-fashioned glass paperweight. My wonderful finds: a metal iron-worked tea pot, something else which I won't name since its a gift for Inga, and an antique wooden tray. Anyway, you may be thinking, "Why would Erica and Zac intentionally buy these silly old things" but consider, we paid hardly anything for them and now we've got what looks like the personal effects of C.S. Lewis to grace our desk with.

Our other exciting event was hearing banns read at church a few weeks ago. For those of you who don't know what this lovely ritual is, think of that moment in movies when the officiating clergyman says "If anyone has any objections to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace etc etc." In this case, banns must be read at the local church of both the man and woman (regardless of whether or not they attend there) three separate times before the wedding otherwise the marriage is considered void. The vicar today did say that if anyone had any objections they should discreetly mention them after the service, which I thought polite of him. (I can't remember if that part ever gets read in the US at weddings; I only know that I was not under any circumstances going to allow it at our wedding).

It is Official

We arrived in England and managed to take part in the coldest winter in 31 years.
(deep breath) okay...we are done talking about snow.