It's Like The Internet In Newspaper Form or Oh my-I-O

My (Zac's) local paper back in Ohio has a section entitled "Readers Tell Us". Readers Tell Us is an editorial that allows folks to call the newspaper on the phone and leave a thirty second anonymous message with whatever they have on their mind. This can range from thanking a good Samaritan for returning their keys at the mall, to asking for help in getting rid of earwigs, to (as most often occurs) complaining about the government. It is probably this feature of the paper that keeps it profitable as many only read the paper for it. As Garrison Keillor once said, "A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever." So without any further ado, a few swatches from the Alliance Review.

"Dry eyes. Does anyone have any solutions for dry eyes? It would be really appreciated."

"All right people of Alliance, here's your challenge; on July 4 between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m., somebody set fire to a building in Alliance. Look around your house. Who wasn't home with you last Sunday at that time? Who came home smelling of smoke and fire and was a little bit dirty? Whoever that person is in your family needs to be turned in. Stand up for what's right. Stand up and do what you need to do--turn this person in."

"Black and white need to stand together against illegals becoming citizens. We are going to become the minorities. Spanish and Muslim populations are growing very, very fast."

"This week we need to pray to open the eyes of those who would destroy this country as our founding fathers envisioned."